yikes seriously? i'd go crazy like two days in if i had it that bad
then i don't know put malik's picture on a bullseye and throw darts at it until you're well enough to punch him in the face he's the one that did this so he's the one we should really be getting angry at
[ okay fine, mumble grumble. he can recognize that different people handle this shit in different ways. ]
okay okay i won't tell you what to do about it or anything i don't get it but if not doing anything is what helps you get over it then sure just i don't know
[ he pauses, wondering what else to say. He's got a lot of thoughts here and isn't quite sure how to put it into words. ]
you were saying that everything that happened in there is your fault but it's not it's malik's and you can't let him screw with your head like that he's full of bs and just wants you to take the blame for everything he did if you start thinking that way then you're letting him win
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that just makes it feel even better
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Everything bad is hard and spiky, and all of the nice things are soft
Screaming into my pillows is okay, though
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so you can hit them without hurting yourself
but sure if you prefer screaming into a pillow that works too
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I'm too messed up to do anything, even light jogging hurts impossibly bad
It's like my whole body is just made of glass now, i hate it
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seriously?
i'd go crazy like two days in if i had it that bad
then i don't know put malik's picture on a bullseye and throw darts at it until you're well enough to punch him in the face
he's the one that did this so he's the one we should really be getting angry at
[ he says, hypocritically. ]
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ha ha
i had the opportunity to kick him in the junk when things got crazy
and i guess that was cathartic
but i think im done hating him
its not going to make any of this go away
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he put you through that much grief and you're just gonna forget about it?
at least you kicked him where it counts when you had the chance
good taste in kicking
i did the same thing to him too
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I can never forget about what happened or what he did
wishing to kill him or hurt him, whats that going to do
Make me miserable
I'm already so miserable, James
I think this is me dealing with it in my own way and you need to deal with it in your own way which is i guess violence and aggression
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okay okay
i won't tell you what to do about it or anything
i don't get it but if not doing anything is what helps you get over it then sure
just
i don't know
[ he pauses, wondering what else to say. He's got a lot of thoughts here and isn't quite sure how to put it into words. ]
you were saying that everything that happened in there is your fault
but it's not
it's malik's and you can't let him screw with your head like that
he's full of bs and just wants you to take the blame for everything he did
if you start thinking that way then you're letting him win